Often, grieving the loss of who you thought a person was and the relationship you wish to have (but can’t) is an important component of the healing process. “Instead of running off and everybody lawyering up, if they spent some time talking about what their expectations are in dealing with the parents’ estate moving forward, that might help,” she said. “Court proceedings are win-or-lose, but sometimes there’s a way to look at a problem and figure out a solution where everyone maybe doesn’t win altogether but they get more or less what they’re hoping for,” Ms. Bales said. For example, if a couple has two children, it’s best to either choose one to be executor or appoint a third person and include a majority clause in the will which allows executors to act by majority, Ms. Bales said. This way the siblings can avoid entering into stalemates which might land them before a judge. The death of a parent is an emotionally charged time, and can make the division of mom or dad’s stuff a trying task if their wishes haven’t been clearly laid out and explained in advance.
Conflict Avoidance Doesn’t Do You Any Favors
If you’re struggling with conflict avoidance, talking with a trusted friend or relative can help you to process the issue. People who love you can provide support and a rational viewpoint, encouraging you to stand up for yourself. When conflict is all about criticism and pointing fingers, it usually isn’t productive.
Ways to Deal With High-Conflict People
- If you view conflict as a task to be completed rather than something to be fearful of, you can remove some negative emotions from confrontation.
- If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “What you resist, persists,” you have been introduced to the basic reason that avoidance coping can increase anxiety.
- Compliment your partner when they do something you like, and try to avoid criticism, says Ambrose.
Instead, these are the couples who say, “‘OK, we have https://ecosoberhouse.com/ a difference, let’s move on.’ They don’t try to fight or even just discuss in great length why their position is true for them,” Julie says. If you share our vision, please consider supporting our work by becoming a Vox Member. Your support ensures Vox a stable, independent source of funding to underpin our journalism.
Why You Need to Stop Avoiding Conflict (and What to Do Instead)
Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program. Stress relief strategies like relaxation techniques and jogging can minimize the stress response when you face a problem and even increase your self-confidence. When we try to think our way out of bad situations to avoid getting hurt, we become engaged in trying to think of a solution rather than acting on one. If you find yourself ending relationships rather than working through conflicts, you will likely end up with many broken relationships and a sense that you’re not able to make relationships “work” in the long-term.
Criticism
Though avoidant partners might not seem as emotionally available or connected as others, their emotions and need for connection are often the same as anyone else. With some understanding and support, it’s possible for avoidant partners to open up and create greater emotional intimacy. It can be damaging to the connection of a relationship if it is left unaddressed. By being aware of the signs of conflict avoidance and using these tips for dealing with conflict healthily, you can start to have healthier and more productive conversations with your partner.
When you’re dealing with a person behaving unreasonably, the fear response center in your brain (the fight-flight-freeze part) is going to be activated. This part of the brain can’t distinguish between a customer that’s yelling at you or a vicious dog about to attack you. It’s up how to deal with someone who avoids conflict to you to engage your conscious mind in order to defuse the situation.
- However, part of grieving is coming to terms with the fact that the relationship may lack what you truly want or need.
- This blog post will explore what conflict avoidance is, why you do it, and the consequences of doing so.
- Healthy human relationships are reciprocal and we understand what keeps relationships healthy and moving forward.
- “Self-awareness and self-regulation are critical skills for managing problematic behavior.
- People who respond to conflict this way often expect negative outcomes and find it difficult to trust the other person’s reaction.